| screaming on the inside. |
[Feb. 16th, 2009|11:50 pm] |
hide the pain.
hide the regret.
hide the sorrow.
hide the disapointment.
fake a smile.
fake a laugh.
pretend that you don't know.
because it will all go down hill from here.
and you'll never really see it.
because it's tucked in so deep.
you'll never fully understand.
because it's my fucked up life.
the life that crumbles with every heart i break.
and with each piece of mine that falls apart.
so you'll see me everyday.
so happy and smiling.
but it's all a lie.
and i'm really screaming on the inside. |
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| kswaf's day as a chalmette high cheerleader; |
[Dec. 6th, 2008|08:45 pm] |
WHOA DAWG.
kso, today was the cheerleading regionals in westwego, la.
i had to substitute for a cheerleader.
i learned the routine, like, three days ago.
i was so excited.
it started out like this:
woke up at 8.
got dressed and went to sydni's.
got my hair did.
went to the school.
did my half of my make-up.
left for westwego.
stood in the cold.
danced around as a connected twin for a bit (inside cheer joke as of today).
got the rest of my make-up did.
went inside.
was asked, "are you nervous?" 74893652 times.
started to get nervous.
checked out galaxy's guys (even though most, if not all, of them are gay).
stretched.
warmed up the whole routine.
waited nervously for a while.
rallied onto the stage area.
wasn't nervous anymore.
performed awesomely for a newbie.
rallied off.
hugged my parents.
watched the rest of the teams.
ate ice-cream.
did some more watching.
freaked out at galaxy's performance (they are so amazing!!!!!!!!!)
sat through awards.
cheered when we won 1st place in our division(!!!!!!!:D!!!!!!!!).
went to texas roadhouse.
ate.
made an inside joke with syd and court. ("used to be carl. changed it to katy after the op. xD )
left for home.
got home.
and now i'm here.
:q
i am happy.
and i kind of wanna try out next year.....
naaah, i'm good as manager/substitute.
:] |
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| confused minds, torn hearts. |
[Oct. 8th, 2008|10:23 pm] |
I can't help but feel that I'm the reason for it all.
I feel like there's nothing but fake smiles and forced laughs when I'm around.
Why can't I be told the truth at least once? |
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| biloxi is coool |
[Aug. 3rd, 2008|06:52 pm] |
so friday after work, me, jamie, and anna went to biloxi, mississippi for vacation.
i didn't think it would be that fun.
we got to our hotel room in the palace hotel casino and OHMYGOOOOOD.
it's just like i remembered it.
:]]]
i was so set on stealing the comforter.
it's like sleeping in heaven.
then, we went to the buffet of the worlds, as i call it.
it has asian food, italian food, southern food, and dessert.
i'm in love with it alll<3
we went to the jacuzzi and pool.
we got to try margaritas.
may i say that i am in love with them now!!
saturday, we got up and ate at aunt jenny's.
it was pretty good.
i had fried catfish with this sauce stuff.
it's yummy :]
then we went to the beach.
i RODE A JETSKI!!!
anna drove.
i was going to but got scared xD
but it was still so fun.
jamie almost ran into us, hahah.
then we made a sand castle.
i was in charge of the moat.
it was really deep, and water was seeping through.
we went back to the hotel and ate dinner at wahoo's.
then went swimming.
we met this guy, mason.
he's pretty gee.
we went up to our hotel room and hung out.
JUST HUNG OUT.
and we finished off our hypnotiq.
i tried a shot of vodka.
GROOOOOSS.
sunday morning we checked out and left.
we went to gulfport mall.
it is HUUUGE.
4x's bigger than lakeside.
better stores, too.
i got some clothes and stuff.
aaand, then we went home.
FUN VACATION.
WOO! |
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| "see you then" |
[Jul. 27th, 2008|11:57 pm] |
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His eye level lowered from to the sun setting below the water to the girl standing in front of him. Her eyes glowed as she smiled up at him, her arms wrapped around his neck. His lips curled upward and he leaned down, leaving a soft kiss on her lips. She smiled and pushed up on her toes, pressing her lips more against his. She pulled away, her smile slowly fading. “So this is it, huh?” She asked, her voice cracking slightly. His eyes looked down and he nodded before saying, “Yeah. I have to go back to New York tomorrow.” She sniffed and wiped her watery eyes with her thin sleeve. “I visit my aunt again this thanksgiving. I’ll see you then, ok?” He asked, pulling her into a tight hug. She nodded against his chest, her tears staining his blue button-up. A horn at the top of the beach honked, averting their attention to it. He turned back to her and kissed her one last time. “I love you, Callie. Remember that, ok?” She nodded and pushed her bangs back. “I love you, too, Mason.” She bit her lip as he walked up the beach and got inside his mother’s SUV.
---short, sappy, and really lame. xD i wrote this so don't be too harsh :] opinions? |
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| !@#$%^&* |
[Jul. 24th, 2008|02:42 am] |
So, I was on myspace just now looking at my online friends and I saw that this guy I was kind of close to back in 8th grade was on.
I went on his profile out of curiousity and looked at his top.
I saw another guy that I used to like a lot and I went to his profile.
Well it got me thinking.
I'm not friends with this guy anymore.
We used to be best friends.
I could tell him anything and everything.
And even if we didn't go out or anything, I would have loved to be his best friend.
Yeah, we are different, but thats what drew us together.
But, I had to go and fuck things up.
Then I had to make things worse and, when he was going to forgive me, I had to go and curse him out.
Well I wish I hadn't.
Because I miss what we had.
:(
Another guy I miss, who I am not afraid to say his name, is Curry.
He used to be my ultimate best friend.
But, people change and promises are broken, I guess.
:/ |
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| whatthebuck!? |
[Jul. 22nd, 2008|02:39 am] |
so i haven't blogged in 5 weeks.
i think it's cool how livejournal tells you that stuff.
but anyway, let's get to the point of my random blogging.
school starts in.... *checks computer calender* 20 days.
o.O
whaaaaaaaaaat?!
my goodness summer just flew by.
:[
i'm going to miss sleeping in and hanging out and writting 24/7.
but i can't wait to see my friends that i haven't gotten to see this summer.
this year is going to be different.
i'll have a new look (sort of), a new perspective, and new classes (duh!).
so this should be fun.
but i really don't want to see the summer end this uneventful.
i'm glad that my last vacation is so close to school starting.
maybe i'll still have a tan...
AUGUST11, dreadtheday. |
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| writer's block: gender bender |
[Jun. 15th, 2008|12:50 am] |
Hahahah, I love these writer's block things.
Well of course I'd want to try and be a dude for a day or something.
I mean seriously, having a penis would be freaking G.
And I would like to see girls try and flirt with me and shizz.
Well that's all.
xD
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| old times. |
[Jun. 15th, 2008|12:43 am] |
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I remember when I used to actually know who my friends were.
I knew their personalities, their weaknesses, their strengths.
I knew what made them laugh and what made them cry.
I no longer know that feeling.
I no longer have that sense of knowledge about my friends.
Heck, I don't even think they consider me friends.
They have changed so much.
I don't recognize them anymore.
I only have memories of when they were great friends who made me laugh and feel good about myself.
We would have a lot of fun together.
It's all gone now.
I would tell them this, but then of course drama would start. |
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| muffins. |
[May. 28th, 2008|09:47 pm] |
My friends are the best.
Seriously, if you ever needed a smile on your face, go to them.
Jamie is so weird but it's hilarious.
Anna is slow and laughs late but we still love her.
Jenna is random and crazy and rock and roll WOOO!
Taryn is hyper and off the walls.
Adriana introduced me to anime :D
Courtney is down-to-earth but when she wants to be, she can be hyped up.
Corey is awesome and not so hyper but still awesome x]
And all of my other friends are amazing, too.
I love them to death and I couldn't live without them.
<3 |
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| writer's block: nicknames |
[May. 21st, 2008|10:08 pm] |
Hey look! I actually found a writer's block that I like.
Okay so I have a bunch of nick names. I'll go through them as I remember them.
So it isn't official but someone called me 'Kay Bay Bay' a little after 'Ay Bay Bay' came out. I loved it but it didn't stick.
Well, since my full name is Katherine, I guess my main nick name would be Katy. It was originally spelled K-A-T-I-E but I don't really like it. I don't know why. I've been writing my name as K-A-T-Y for a while now and it has stuck with most people like teachers and some of my friends.
My friends and I have a little group called the 'McFroogles'. It's some random name we came up with. The group is five friends that have gym class together and are, well, really random all the time. It consists of Taryn- Oodles McFroogle; Adriana- Doodles McFroogle; Courtney- Noodles McFroogle; Corey- Poodles McFroogle; and me- Zoodles McFroogle. :)
Random nick names: Kk (Just short for Katy), Tit-Nasty (LMAO, Ms. Wynde gave me that one), KaySwaf (Katy + Swafford = KaySwaf).
Well I can't think anymore.
Night<3 |
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| what's wrong with the world? |
[Apr. 19th, 2008|04:57 pm] |
People are getting worse. There is no hope for peace. You all would just complain about it.
Kids and teenagers are becoming savages.
Have you ever been scowled at by a 7 year old with the mind of a 17 year old? I have.
It's not the best feeling.
I mean really, why are kids acting like such assholes.
And the teenagers are getting slutty and stuck-up.
I went to my friends prom the other weekend, and the girls there were giving me the dirtiest looks. And it wasn't because I was from a different school. It was an all boys school so all the girls were from different schools. They were all stuck-up and if they run into you, they just keep going. What the hell? Where did the manners go?
I remember when I started talking about this in class. Half of the class agreed with me. But you know what? They didn't do shit about it. They were all saying, "People should be nice to someone. It will spread eventually." And you know what? I saw some of those same people pointing and laughing at some kid who dropped their books in the hallway.
Everyday I walk through the hallway I feel eyes on me. Evil stares from people who could care less if you dropped dead right then and there.
Ever see the movie "Pay It Forward?" I love that movie because Trevor (aka Haley Osment) changed the world as little kid. By doing the right thing and paying it forward.
Let's change the world. It can be done. It is possible. |
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| my name explained. |
[Mar. 17th, 2008|09:03 pm] |
I'm sure you've heard of the Jonas Brothers. Ya know, that hot teen band that has every girl swooning over them? The guys that have been working their asses off the past few years to get where they are today. The band that is sometimes referred to as "that disney boy band".
If you've ever watched a youtube video of them live, you probably noticed the one in the middle. The guy that looks like he would be better off singing solo because he takes up most of the stage. Not that that's a bad thing. Well that guy is Joe.
And you've noticed the one that plays guitar off to the side. Curly hair; gorgeous body. Plays piano like no other. Just by looking at him you can tell that he doesn't take his job for granted. He is Nick.
To some of you, that's all you see and hear. But you are forgetting one thing. Kevin is just a important as Nick and Joe and not many people, or should i say fans, realize that. Without Kevin, there would be empty pieces in the songs.
And for your enjoyment, there would be no 'S.O.S dance', no dance thing with the fire extinguisher, and no contagious laugh to lighten up interviews when Joe isn't saying something funny (which is rare these days) or when Nick is being quiet.
Kevin Jonas is my hero. I think that in a way he holds the band together. He is older and smarter and has had more life experience. He help make up the band that we go crazy for.
(If only i were 5 years older...) |
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